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Why Apple TV For TV Fans Is Useless

I’m not here to besmirch Apple.  I stood in line for 4 hours to get an iPhone 4 and I woke up at 4am to pre-order an iPad.  But Apple TV?  I’d rather wait in line for the DVD re-release of Season 2 of Head of The Class.

If you are technologically impaired, maybe this little gadget would be cool.  But as a TV fan, here’s why Apple’s newest little box does not interest me in the slightest:

1) .99 TV Show rentals.

I own a DVR (a craptastic Scientific Atlantic one) but it works.  Most big TV fans are already saving their shows to watch later.  Very few times do I ever actually miss a show because it didn’t record.  If that happens, Comcast has a great OnDemand section that is carrying more and more network shows.  But, if there’s a show that I feel that I’m missing out on, I have Hulu to catch me up.  Hulu doesn’t charge me for the last few batches of shows.  If I’m down a whole season, then I have my subscription to Netflix (we’ll get to you later) which allows me to catch up on anything I want.  Plus, if I’m going to pay a buck for a show, I want to be able to own the stream, not just rent it (Hello Amazon!).  So if somebody can explain the appeal of the rental service, please let me know!

2) Apple TV Now Streams Netflix

You can not brag about anything that a Nintendo Wii does.  I can’t envision the person who wants to stream Netflix to their TV, but can’t.  The Wii is only 50 bucks more and at least you can play some pretty cool games with it (I think Wii is up to 4 cool games).  You already have the PS3, the 360 and BluRay players streaming it and I believe that Kitchen Aid is making a toaster that streams Netflix too.  Way to be current Apple!  Next thing you know, Mr. Jobs is going to tell us that in the next firmware update, you can connect your Apple TV to your Prodigy account!

3) No DIVX Support

Not a surprise, but it would be nice if Apple TV was able to support a few more codecs.

4) No Subscription Service

Hulu has opened the door to subscription services that are paid.  If Apple said for $10 a month I could stream all the TV shows I wanted, then I’d be getting ready to save up the Benjamin.  I love Netflix for the all you can watch buffet and I love MOG on my iPhone for the all I can listen to buffet.  Sooner or later Apple will need to convert to a subscription model.  Until then, most TV fans like myself should avoid the Apple TV like fame avoids Rob Snyder.

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Pam from The Office….cute.

Rachel from Glee….cute.

Mya Rudolph….well, she’s cute…I think.

TV shows are supposed to have highly attractive men and women.  That’s the way it’s been and the way it’s going to be.  That’s fine, I can accept that.  But nothing intrigues me like a character who’s not ugly, but also not cute (at least according to People Magazine’s standards.)  You can’t debate the fact that January Jones is uber cute, but the girls on this list are more open to discussion.   So here is my list of the Top 5 Oddly Cute Girls On TV.

#5 TINA FEY

Most of the time I think Tina Fey is cute.  However, I can fully understand where a person might not agree.  First and foremost we have “the scar.”  Sure we’ve all Googled “Tina Fey Scar” and we’ve read stories varying  from a robber did it, to her falling on a garden gnome as a child.  How she got it isn’t a concern of mine.  But it’s there and a lot of people deduct serious cute points from her total (if such a numerical system truly existed).  I don’t mind it, in fact it’s a bit endearing.  In this observer’s opinion, when she chopped her hair this season on 30 Rock, it wasn’t good for anybody.  Finally, I think some guys are intimidated by smart and funny women.  All these factors put her on this list.

#4 Alyson Hannigan

Since the days of Amerian Pie, she has ranked high on my list of cute celebs.  Unfortunately, anytime I bring her up in conversation of attractive celebs, I get disappointed looks and pastries of various sizes thrown at me.  I’m not sure why, maybe she has “elfish” features or is just a little too quirky for many people’s tastes.  Again, I think girls who can use humor well are often frowned upon by a lot of guys (probably ones that wear Ed Hardy shirts or who walk into Abercrombie and say “Yeah, it smells good in here.”).  I don’t agree with this pick, but because I consistently get shunned putting her on my list of attractive prime time women, I’ll put Alyson at number three.

#3 Jayma Mays

Will Shuster’s love interest on Glee is without a doubt, oddly cute.  Search her on the ‘net and you’ll find many people saying that Jayma Mays has “bush baby” eyes.  Combine that, with a fragile voice and figure and there’s a lot to think about.  I don’t mind the eyes,  but her frame is WAY to skinny, seemingly unhealthy.  The most surprising thing for me is that she’s only 31.  At least on Glee, she seems far older.  A truly oddly cute girl.

#2 Madison Burge

A new character on Friday Night Lights this season, Burge plays a beauty pageant hopeful.  Now while some people will hotly debate Jayma Mays being cute, I don’t think you can with Burge.  Then why is she on this list?  She’s one of the rare girls that you can’t explain why she’s cute.  She doesn’t fit the mold of a “typical” cute girl, but she definitely is cute.  But why does she have to like Tim Riggins?

#1 Kristen Schaal

Flight of the Conchord’s Kristen Schaal is goofy, odd, and has not only an unusual voice, but an unusual look.  Don’t be quick to dismiss her.  She’s funny and out of anybody on this list would absolutely be the coolest girl to hang out with.  We know she’s odd, but is she Oddly Cute?  I’ll leave that for you to discuss, as she’s the perfect Oddly Cute Girl On TV.

So there’s the list.  Feel free to discuss who and who isn’t cute as well as other girls I left off the list!

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AMC’S Next Great Show: The Walking Dead

OK, so in my mind, AMC can’t miss.  Mad Men is the best drama on television. Breaking Bad is an edgy drama that grips you.  Rubicon, although not great, is very well put together. Coming on Halloween is their newest show “The Walking Dead.”  Upon watching this trailer, one thing is for certain; if the [...]

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The Worst Show I Watched In College

Back in 1997, as a freshman at the University of Connecticut, I, like many college students, discovered that I had vast amounts of free time on my hands.  And like many of my fellow co-eds, I turned to the old “boob tube” to fill those hours that a sub 3.0 freshman has decided not to [...]

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QUESTION OF THE WEEK: What TV Show Would You Resurrect?

You find a bottle.  You rub it.  Out pops a genie.  He grants you the ability to bring back to network television, one television show.  What would it be and why?

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Friday’s TV Cocktail Chatter

Make yourself seem somewhat intelligent when discussing all things television this weekend: *Rumors persist that Steven Tyler of Aerosmith will be the next judge on American Idol.  This is a fantastic plan by producers.  I couldn’t possibly think of a better way to sink this show faster than by putting Tyler on as judge.  I [...]

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