Well, it’s the first ever post of TVDeuce.com, and it only makes sense to start out with the premier of “DANCING WITH THE STARS: SEASON 4″.

Before we even discuss season 4, I think it’s important to first view the creation of Dancing With The Stars or “D-Starz” as I’ve seen on hip urban t-shirts. I would have loved to have been in the room at ABC when somebody blurted out, “Hey what if we get the host of AFV, not Bob Saget because he’s funny and recognizable, but that other guy, a couple of judges, some attractive dancers no one knows and then to top it off we’ll have them ballroom dance with some C-List celebs. Now I’m not talking C-List like Jackee, Margaret Cho, or the dude that played Dudley on Differn’t Strokes. Nah, I’m talking about the AC Slaters, Tucker Carlsons and Drew Laches of the world.” I can envision the head of ABC pondering for a moment and then saying “By god, how could this possibly fail?”

So that brings us to Season 4. Now the show is a ratings smash, so one would assume that the higher the ratings, the better the celebs they could recruit. Nope. Somehow, ABC is managing to find D-List celebrities. The celebrities that you either thought were dead, or should be dead. This season showcases:

Apollo Anton-Ono. Yeah, apparently D-Starz was able to work around Apollo’s grave yard shift at the East Lansing Texaco.

Billy Ray Cyrus. I’ll file this one under “Should Be Dead”.

Shandi Finnessey. I Wikipedia’d her name and all I got was “Who That Is?”

Joey Fatone. Token boy band leftover. Can’t wait for season 8 when somebody from 2gether makes an appearance.

After that you have your Cliff Clavins, Leeza Gibbons, and Clyde Drexlers of the world filling in the other slots. The only “star” I will justify is Ian Ziering, better known as Steve Sanders. I mean, who doesn’t love Steve Sanders? For god’s sake he helped Donna Martin graduate!

So who is actually watching this show? My guess is that the ratings are being fueled by G.E.D. holders and anyone who has proudly worn a Jiffy Lube name tag. Why? For a fleeting moment, they can actually watch a show, point to whoever is on screen and say with a much missing exuberant confidence: “My life is more important than that person’s.”