With the regular TV season effectively over, I figure it’s time to look for TV’s next big stars on YouTube. So once a week I will find a potential star that is out there in YouTube land. First up, Mr. Rick Kant.
This guy is perfect for an NBC comedy. An aspiring commercial actor who lacks talent, but not self-esteem. The show revolves around Rick’s search for a steady income, easy ladies, and a ride to work. This clip is just the tip of the hilarity iceberg. There are so many possibilities with love and work, that Rick Kant is without a doubt the next big character that TV has been waiting for. You may compare him to Earl, but this cat has got class. He’s got a Roy Lichtenstein lithograph, a mustache, an open shirt, and is oozing with marketability.
There are a lot of ladies out there who would pay $20 bucks for an “I Got Boned By Rick Kant” shirt. Or a lot of guys would throw down some dough on a “I Got Into A Fight With Rick Kant” beater. Everything from Rick Kant pregnancy tests to Rick Kant Wireless Routers. If you can make it, Rick Kant Can Sell It!”
So tell me that this would not be the hit show of the season?
By now, you’ve probably seen the AT&T commercial, where a fictional mother and daughter discuss a cell phone bill. The daughter lays down some hardcore text chat lingo that leaves her mom stupified as to what the hell she’s talking about. The commercial has received rave reviews from various publications including: Fab Ads Weekly, Commercials Quarterly and Just 18 Magazine. With that success, AT&T has hired Alec Baldwin and his daughter for their next ad. “The Deuce” has secured a preliminary script for the ad that we are proud to share with you:
Alec:Hey you fat pig, this cell phone bill is bigger than you, after that time we went to Long John Silvers and you ordered the Buffet Barge. Daughter:Oh Dad, you’re over reacting like a A.W.B.M.I.B.J. Alec:What the hell does that mean you sack of crap? Daughter:Daddy, everyone knows that A.W.B.M.I.B.J means “Actor Who’s Best Movie Is Beetle Juice” Alec: Listen up, I won’t put with another phone bill that is this high. I’ve seen your friends, and they’re uglier and have more self esteem issues than the cast of 3-2-1 Contact. You don’t need to talk to those tubby skanks, especially that red head with the eye patch that has a crush on your Uncle Billy. Daughter:But Dad, Vanessa is a total B.F.F.E. who may in fact be my soul mate? Alec: Best Friend Forever and Ever? Daughter:You really are a stupid mick, no a B.F.F.E. is a Bilemic Fast Food Eater! Alec: God, your friends are more dysfunctional than your mother. So, this is the last time I’m telling you, if you don’t get that cell phone down, I’m going to take away your ‘84 Toyota Tercel. Daughter:Daddy no! Not my Baby T! Ok, you made your point, I’ll be better! Alec:And thinner? Both: LOL Daughter:Oh daddy, one thing at a time! Can we go to Little Caesars?
There you have it, a tad edgier than the first, but people just love celebrities. So this should really help them!
In my never-ending attempt to become the next Mark Burnette, here are more reality shows to consider:
The Bachelor: Rich and Below the Bell Curve: An independently wealthy Wal-Mart cart collector with below average intelligence chooses from a group of gold digging sorority girls. At the end of each show, he decides who stays by marking their receipts with a highlighter.
Pirate Master-bater: We can extend (pun intended) CBS’s new Pirate Master show into an after hours affair by seeing who’s able to finish the challenge with a hook hand.
Breakfast with Mrs. Butterworths: A hidden camera and a speaker are attached to Mrs. Butterworths’ syrup bottles throughout different Waffle House locations. As different ethnic families go to grab her, she makes races comments to each.
I Know a Guy: A new home makeover show where families hire people they know to put new additions onto their homes. The show will trail a carpenter friend who starts a job at each house and then shows what he does for the two years before finishing the project.
Do you have any ideas? Please send ‘em my way; together we can bring down television.
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