In my never-ending attempt to become the next Mark Burnette, here are more reality shows to consider:

The Bachelor: Rich and Below the Bell Curve: An independently wealthy Wal-Mart cart collector with below average intelligence chooses from a group of gold digging sorority girls. At the end of each show, he decides who stays by marking their receipts with a highlighter.

Pirate Master-bater: We can extend (pun intended) CBS’s new Pirate Master show into an after hours affair by seeing who’s able to finish the challenge with a hook hand.

Breakfast with Mrs. Butterworths: A hidden camera and a speaker are attached to Mrs. Butterworths’ syrup bottles throughout different Waffle House locations. As different ethnic families go to grab her, she makes races comments to each.

I Know a Guy: A new home makeover show where families hire people they know to put new additions onto their homes. The show will trail a carpenter friend who starts a job at each house and then shows what he does for the two years before finishing the project.

Do you have any ideas? Please send ‘em my way; together we can bring down television.