Part II comes a day late after I was forced to reformat my hard drive yesterday.  But enough of my bitching….

SITUATION: A bunch of friends are saying their favorite SNL quotes.  You chime in with?

A)  “I gotta have more cowbell!”

B)  “Sibilance”

C)  “I love the taste of these Shwetty balls in my mouth!”

ANSWER - B.  “Sibilance.”  Cowbell is an all-time great sketch, however, when making references you want to get your audience thinking a bit.  Cowbell is too mainstream.  Shwetty balls on the other hand is a bit too low brow for my taste.  If you’re working at a place with the words “Lube” “Quick” or “Big” in the company name, then it’s ok.  For the rest of us, you might want to class it up a bit.  Sibilance was brought to us by a two time Oscar winner as a roadie in one of SNL’s most famous recurring sketches..  Again, we’re not looking to stump the audience, just make them pause a bit.   

SITUATION 2- You find yourself at a Hooters, where some frat dudes are rattling out Family Guy quotes.  To impress them you say:

A)  Your main character is richer for the experience?

B)  SHIPOOPI, the girl who’s hard to get

C)  Giggity

ANSWER.  A-”Your main character is richer for the experience.”  Why?  Simply because Stewie’s verbal assault on Brian’s novel was pure genius.  You could also throw in a “Friends become enemies, enemies become friends” for an even richer conversation.  SHIPOOPI is a great reference, but you must be prepared to sing it.  If you said Giggity, go join your Simpsons friend who still is amused by “Doh” and “Ay Caramba”.  Shame on you.

SITUATION 3.  A bunch of girls are reliving Dawson’s Creek’s memories.  You bring up:

A)  How you thought it was odd that when Joey’s boyfriend in college brought her to the Wooster Centrum Arena, it was actually the arena where the Carolina Hurricanes play, which is obviously not in Massachusetts.

B)  How you cried when Pacey found out Andie was porking a fellow whack job in the looney bin because you wondered how she could be so mean to a great guy who stuck by her in hard times.

C)  The fact that Capeside and Tree Hill look eerily similar

ANSWER: If you said A, you’re wrong.  Although you are actually correct, the girls will think that you are some kind of freak does nothing but pay attention to minute details on teen dramas.  C is incorrect for the same reason, plus they may think that you actually believe these places are real.  Therefore B is correct because it shows that you are sensitive and caring and this means you will be more likely to be able to use that roofie you bought earlier in the day.

SITUATION 3:  A heated argument errupts in a MIT faculty lounge.  The professors are arguing over who was the best side kick of all time.  You reply:

A) Cockroach

B) Skippy

C) Buddy Lembeck

D) Arvin

ANSWER: None of the above.  If you didn’t say Richard ‘Boner’ Stabone, then you would be dead wrong.  While all those side kicks are great friends, none was a Boner.  It’s the only side kick outside of Scott Scanlon that’s name will make people laugh when they hear it.

So there you have it, more situations that Clint has helped you though.  I’d love to hear your thoughts.