About two weeks ago, I came up with some Simpsons quotes that were easy to use in everyday life. However, I must confess that lately I’ve been on a very big Family Guy kick. So the staff at here at “The Deuce” came up with Family Guy quotes that can easily be inserted into daily conversations with hilarious results.
“What The Deuce?” (Stewie) - Perhaps the most versitile of all Family Guy quotes, this can be used to convey your confusion of a situation. Like if you call tech support and the person on the other end isn’t in Bangalore or you see Destro and Roadblock enjoying brunch at an outdoor cafe together.
“TOM BOSLEY!” (Stewie) - Just yell it out in public. Sure you’ll get strange looks, but everyone around will look around for the elusive TV dad.
“Dear Diary: JACKPOT!” (Quagmire) - I like to use this one when driving by a cute jogger, seeing that a Woot T-shirt I like hasn’t been sold out yet, and eating a bowl of Boo-Berry cereal.
“Women are not people, they are devices built by our Lord Jesus Christ for our entertainment” (Peter) - I suppose this one is really for the guys out there. I mean sure it’s sexist, but hey sometimes the truth hurts.
“How about a lot less talk and a lot more, SHUT THE HELL UP!” (Brian) - I find this to be useful when talking to the boss, wife, or kid.
“Why am I so awkward!?” (Chris) - If you’re a person who reads a lot of blogs like this, then chances are that this one will come in handy.
“He’s tasting victory. I bet it tastes good, like salt-water taffy or a Chunky.” (Cleveland) - This one works at Little League Games, Online Role Playing Games, or for the ladies out there, you can say this after making the whoopie.
“As we all know, Christmas is that mystical time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave to feed on the flesh of the living. So we all sing Christmas carols to lull him back to sleep” (Peter) - This one is for the holiday season, good to say at the office party if you’re looking to scare the bejesus out of your co-workers.
“Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you, very homosexually.” - Just a funny insult to toss at unsuspecting passerby or child.
“Thank God, I mean, Thank Me. Ahh, just kidding.” (Peter) - A very useful quote, maybe it doesn’t warrant a laugh, but it shows you can be witty.
“I love this job as much as I love taffy, and I am a man who enjoy’s his taffy” (Adam West) - A Good one to impress your boss or taffy lovers
So these are some of my favorite quotes to use in everyday life from Family Guy, what are some that are missing?
Touche, salesman.
“Victory is mine!” (Stewie) Can be used during business meetings or after sex.
For every sprinkle I find…. I shall kill you!
Hey Lois………..Diarrhea
“Either of you ladies ever been penetrated?” (Quagmire) Useful in Lesbian bars.
Another one I like is:
“Got a compelling protagonist?”
Peter Griffin: Well, they let Sarah Jessica Parker on the TV and she looks like a foot.
*Scared look in eye* “How do you know my language?!” Adam West - Great for just confusing the general public.
Peter Griffin-*While surrounded by Cleveland and Joe* “Ok, ok, would you rather be black or crippled?”
Stewie to brian
“Who sings that song?”
“James Taylor (or substitute your own!)”
“Yeah, lets keep it that way.”
Useful to make someone stop singing to themself
“Meg, once i get through with you you’ll be beating guys off with both hands.” - Peter to Meg after he commits to helping her with a makover.
Stewie: Well, I’d love to stay and chat, but you’re a total bitch.
“Peter, are you drunk?”
“No, I’m just tired from being up all night drinkin”
Stewie: Hey….Hey……..shut up.
great when you don’t have a comeback.
“You look like Snoopy, and it makes me smile…”
-Stewie, a good compliment if there ever was one
This works anytime when you disagree with someone/something.
Peter: That’s morbidly obese.
When asked to make a tough decision Peter responds:
NO I can’t do it. That’s like making me choose between Kirsten Dunst and Sarah Jessica Parker in a hot body/ugly face contest. I just can’t do it.
Pow right in the kisser. & You money for fake mustaches. How much that fake mustache cost? I tired of you ducking me man!! Alway good for when people dont pay you the money that they owe you
“Lets drink to the ‘Drunkin Clam’. Where they don’t ask for proof of age, and neither do I!”
I always liked, “UH OH!!!” when Peter would soil himself.
“eat your vegetables so you’ll grow up big & sttrong like your father.”
“ahhhh, compelling argument”
These are some wicked awesome quotes!
“We’re officially on welfare. Come on, kids. Help me scatter garbage on the front lawn.” -Peter