tvdeuce.com

First of all, I know very little about this show.  I have not “wiki’d”, “googled” or “IMDB’d” it.  So I’m going on what I saw off the previews a few months back.  I have big hopes for this show.  I’ve got a nice little spot on my TIVO reserved for it, although if it does well enough, it could possibly move into the very prestigious “I NEED TO WATCH IT LIVE” section of my life.  It would join a few select shows in my Champagne Room of TV: The Office, Heroes, and Little Einsteins on the Disney channel.

So without further adeau, here are the six reasons that I’m excited to see THE BIONIC WOMAN

#6 – Should be better than BiClops.  Milhouse made a horrible decision in ordering the comic about a super hero that wears glasses.  I was even more dismayed when I heard that Fox was considering adapting the comic into a show, to fill the void left by the Bill Bellamy mega-hit FASTLANE.  Although, I wear glasses, I am much more interested in following the adventures of a beautiful girl, rather than a ramped up Henry Kissinger.

#5 – She’s BIONIC.  Now, if I remember 7th grade English and what my teacher taught me about words, I can break this word down to find the true meaning.  BI means, well, c’mon on, we all know what Bi means, and all I knows is that I LIKE IT!  So that leaves us with the word ONIC.  I know what tonic is and its damn good, so ONIC must mean good.  I’ll let you put the two together, but if you’re thinking what I’m thinking, this could be the best thing to happen to network television since reality television.

#4 – They Showed The Teaser During Heroes.  Maybe I’m set in my ways, but when I watch a good show on television like Heroes or The Office, I am often bombarded with clips and previews of upcoming shows.  I, being a post-graduate student, can use my intellect to deduct the following conclusion: “Why would a network advertise a crappy show during a terrific show?”  I agree, it doesn’t make any sense.  So therefore, I can only conclude that Bionic Woman is a tremendous show, since they are hyping it during Heroes.  Had they showed it during Last Comic Standing, then my outlook on it would be far different.

#3 – It stars an English Woman.  Now, I’m a big fan of English chicks.  The accent, dry wit, and intelligence make them to quote Sir Robert Palmer “Simply Irresistible.”  From Julia Child to Ross’ 2nd Wife, English women have made great television.  I expect nothing less from Michelle Ryan, who should continue the fine line of English Actresses who make significant contributions to American culture through the prime time television medium.  Call me an optimist, but this girl could be a “change agent” for our society, and perhaps end the Iraq war or solve our energy crisis, or perhaps just make us laugh and cry a little.  I think you get the point.

#2 – It Was A Spin-off of the Six Million Dollar Man.  The original Bionic Woman was a spin-off of the Six Million Dollar Man.  I have to admit that show was a bit before my time,  however, I do remember the Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase from the WWF.  He was very cool.  He had a diamond encrusted championship belt, a body guard, and like Martin Luther King Jr., he too had a dream.  Now he was only one million dollars, but was in a word, AWESOME.  So if you times that by six then find the woman equivalent, why that’s an equation that only NASA or a kid with a TI-82 could solve.  But basically you get the idea.  The math behind this show reveals that it will be unbelievably good.  I mean like Herman’s Head kind of good.

#1 – She’s Hot.  Yeah, I know most of you were passed up for admission to MENSA, so I’ll break it down in the simplest terms.  She looks real good.  Now, I’m sure some of you right now are thinking “Hey, I’m not that shallow.”  Yes you are, we all are.  Would you watch Heroes if Nikki was played by one of the women from The Mommies?  Or if Kate on Lost was portrayed Mindy Cohen, or Pam on The Office was played by Angela Lansbury?  No, you wouldn’t.  The secret to every great show is to splash a bit of eye candy up there and then lure you in with a riveting plot or the hint that there could be a love scene in the near future.  So, the Bionic Woman is no different.  It too, will play to the lowest common denominator.  But I love it!

So there you have it.  6 reasons why the Bionic Woman will be a great show and change your life.  It’s just a few short weeks away, but already I can feel myself becoming a better person, just because it’s going to air soon.