Heroes.

One of the best shows on television. Or is it?

I will argue that although Heroes is fantastic television, their choice of character actors is at times flawed. Not Chris Elliot in Everybody Loves Raymond flawed, but more like Joe Isuzu in Empty Nest flawed.

EXAMPLE 1 - ERIC ROBERTS

Sure all the ladies love his rugged, yet mysterious suave looks. But if Eric Roberts is the answer, I don’t want to know what the question is. The star of such “classics” as The Best of The Best, Rude Awakening and Blood Red should not be allowed to suck the life out of a young, smart television show. The producers surely thought that Mr. Roberts’ experience and tough guy attitude was exactly what the show needed out of a super villain. I do agree with this notion. But Eric Roberts is not that guy. Roberts is that creepy dude that you see go in the back room of the local video store. You know the place, behind the door made of beads, which is impenetrable to anyone under the age of 18.

You can’t justify his hiring by “He brings star power.” There are 3 sentences I know that NO ONE has ever said.
1) Hey, I don’t think Vince Vaughn is making enough movies.
2) No, I don’t like Cookiepuss ice-cream cake.
3) Wow, we should watch this because Eric Roberts is in it.

Can’t argue the facts. Eric Roberts did not do Heroes any good and hopefully he’s locked back up in B-Movie world.

EXAMPLE 2 -NEEDLENOSE NED RYERSON

When Suresh was being hailed in the hallway by a man in glasses we all thought, “Hey, that guy in glasses wants Suresh.” But upon closer inspection we realized it was Needlenose Ned Ryerson from Puxatony, PA. That’s right, the annoying insurance salesman from Groundhog Day thrusted himself into a critical role for season 2. But what producers failed to realize is:

YOU CAN’T HAVE NEEDLENOSE NED RYERSON AS PART OF THE CAST!!!

It doesn’t work. Heroes credibility sunk faster than Chuck’s ratings. I mean, was there no one else? No offense to Needlenose, but was Carl from Family Matters not available? What about Fred or Ben Savage. I hate to say this, but did someone even place a call to Tony Danza?

Anytime this guy shows up in a scene, I’m gonna think Needlenose Ned first and then man with the golden touch. Speaking of which, why did they give him such a cool power to boot? Gees, we can’t have Ned Ryerson running around and turning everything into gold. It’s just not right. He should have a more realistic power like changing traffic lights with his mind, or knowing what the MAD Magazine back page joke is without having to fold it.

Let’s face it, we dodged the Eric Roberts bullet last year, but this folks may be too much to overcome. The show will start leaking viewers as they say “Hey, that’s Ned Ryerson, I’m gonna watch TLC instead.” Eventually, the leak will become a flood and Heroes will get that glorious Saturday at 10pm time slot. The only people left watching will be me and the drooly guy who thinks he’s watching Babylon 5.

Thanks a lot NBC, for ruining your best drama!