According to this story on Yahoo, Dr. Robert Jarvik, who is the Lipitor spokesman and this year’s runner up for the National Search For the Person That Looks The Most Like the Crypt Keeper from HBO’s Tales From The Crypt, is not a “practicing” physician.  Apparently, people think the ads are misleading and now Pfizer will be pulling the ads.

My favorite part of the story is when it says “Jarvik describes himself as a medical scientist who has worked in the field of artificial hearts for 36 years and does not practice clinical medicine or treat individual patients.”  You know who’s really pissed off right now?  People with the Jarvik Artificial Heart pounding away in their chest.  Somebody probably didn’t tell them that this wasn’t made by a medical doctor, instead, it was made by somebody that describes himself as a “guy that knows that a heart has 4 chambers and is visually different from hearts displayed on Valentine’s Day.”

Now if these people with the artificial hearts were smart, they bought it at Costco.  I believe they can return it at any times and exchange it for the Kirkland Artificial Heart, which is just as good, but a third of the price, no questions asked.  If you bought it at Best Buy, hopefully you sprung for the extended warranty plan, cause something tells me that an artificial heart, that wasn’t designed by a doctor could have problems.  Finally, if you had to buy it at Odd Lots, better go buy some Will Making software, cause lord only knows if those AAA batteries in there are name brand.

Hopefully Pfizer can find a new way to market their drug.  How about getting the band Heart to pitch it?