Everybody lies.  Whether it’s about why you were late, or why there’s a poster of Brian Austin Green in your bedroom.  We all lie.  But we expect that TV shouldn’t lie to us.  But it does.  Here are 4 ways TV has lied to me.

#4 - MTV MUSIC AWARDS. Every year they tell me that it will be better than ever before!  However, I find myself sitting there, unamused like I’m watching a Will Ferrell movie.  Every year they say its going to be cra-zay!  However, all I see is that the frame rate of the show doesn’t seem to be 27fps and I don’t know, who any of these people are.  Now I know why old people get scared when they leave the home!

#3 - ALEX TREBEk KNOWS ALL. I thought he knew the answer to everything.  However, he does not know how to cure lepracy or how to fix the transmission of a ‘99 Ford Aspire.  So don’t ask.  He also doesn’t know that Steel Magnolias is a guilty pleasure of mine, that I only order the #2 at McDonalds or that for 3 years of my life my brother gave me a daily “DDT” (Thank you very much Jake “The Snake” Roberts!)  So don’t fall into the Trebek hype.

#2 - “IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT, ITS NEW TO YOU!” Goodwill tried this ad campaign, didn’t work well for them either.  What NBC couldn’t do with this slogan, is remove the awful stench and idea that you’re still watching a rerun.  You can call her your prom date, but its still your sister.

#1 - DANCING WITH THE STARS.  Umm, in what alternate universe are former 90210 rejects and brothers of Nick Lachey considered stars?  I think we need to develop a national standard on what is a star.  I don’t like the idea that Jim Varney’s widow could go around calling her husband a star.  Can we get some Federal Star Naming Commission together?  But until then, we need ABC to stop it.  When you get Ernest Borgine on there, then give me a call.

HOW HAS TV LIED TO YOU AMERICA??