As a weekend treat, I’ve compiled the 6 best Stewie Griffin moments from Family Guy for you to enjoy and discuss.
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Archive for the 'I Love Six' Category
Yesterday, I watched Back To The Future, for the first time in about 10 years. That coupled with an 80s theme day at my school, got me thinking about the best movies made in the 1980s. The criteria is very simple, which movies still hold up well today, and that you could still watch a trillion times without getting bored.
#6 - BREAKIN’ 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. If plot is what you crave, then this movie has got a doozy! The local urban rec center is about to be demolished. How in the world can the kids save it? Through the magic of break dancin’. Everything goes great until one kid gets tossed down a flight of stairs. I don’t want to spoil the ending for you, but I think the 4H club will still have a safe and crack free habitat. While, not in itself a terrific movie, it makes one of the best 80s movie references that you can throw down at your next party.
#5 - INDIANA JONES & THE LAST CRUSADE. The 3rd installment of the series brings Indy face to face with Nazis and a really old knight who can seem to guard cups without water or food. I loved every bit of this film from the rats to the Venice boat race, to the lasting image of that dude’s face melting. Plus you have Sean Connery in their to boot, with little quips every now and then. Action packed and the search for ever lasting life make this one of the best. Make sure “You Choose Wisely” and go for the crappy cup next time your at a watering hole, tavern or saloon and you may enjoy ever lasting life.
#4 - THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. While not generally lumped in with the John Hughes films that are considered cult 80s hits, this is by far the best Star Wars. No other movie ends on such a downer. Luke now needs mechanical assistance to clap his hands, Han is put on ice, and the Dark Side has seemed to triumph. I love a movie that makes you leave the theater disappointed. Not disappointed, like I accidentally watched a Jimmy Fallon movie, but a good disappointment. Like, “Aw Man, the good guys ain’t gonna win!” This movie is an epic and fairs out far better than Return of The Jedi: Starring The Muppets.
#3 -GOONIES. How can you not love Goonies? Well, if you are a card carrying member of the I Hate Josh Brolin Club, then you can, but otherwise this is a truly awesome movie. Little asmatic Mikey leading around a bunch of misfits including Corey Feldman and the Booby Twap kid, make for excellent cinema. Throw in the creepy old lady from “Throw Mama From The Train” and you got an Oscar worthy film. How many boys wish they were down in the waterfalls with Andie? This was the first movie since the one about Rocky Dennis to make utterly disfigured humans cool again, thanks to Sloth. Seriously, does anyone hate this movie?
#2 - TOP GUN. Every day in 6th grade, when I got home I grabbed a sleeve of saltines, a can of Pepsi and watched Top Gun every day after school. It’s that damn good. Action, romance, death, and a pre-nut job Tom Cruise make this one of the 80s best movies. Fighter jets and a guy code named Goose. What else do you need? How many us cried when Goose died, or wondered why Slider did muscle poses while playing volleyball in tight jeans, or why in god’s name did Val Kilmer click his teeth at Tom Cruise? No one did it before, and no one has done it since. The best part is that they didn’t go and mess it up with a cheesy sequel. The only thing that surprises me is that there are a fair amount of people that actually haven’t seen this film. If you haven’t, shame on you. You are why this economy is in a recession and why the WB still exists!
#1 - FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF. The penultimate 80’s movie. The guy everybody wanted to be. He did what he wanted and he never got caught. Plus, his keyboard took 5 1/2 floppy disks. Did your keyboard do that? Nope. That cheesy little Casio one only recorded your voice for 5 seconds, but that’s it. Everybody can find a character in that movie they can relate to. I relate best to Cameron, but you might be that girl that Rooney thought was Ferris in the arcade. Who knows? What I do know is that when Ferris talked to the camera, it was a brilliant piece of filming. He made you feel like one of the gang. And then there’s Sloan in the pool. Damn. This movie to me epitomizes everything that an 80s movie should be. About a kid, who owns the world and in the end gets what he wants without the responsibility of his actions. Essentially the American Dream.
So there you have it. Now feel free to bash the list and talk amongst yourselves in the comment section.
If there’s one thing Clint knows, it’s THE LADIES! Clint knows that all the ladies out there love their boyfriends and husbands. However, Clint also knows that THE LADIES like to keep a secret journal in their mind. A journal of 6 guys, that if the situation presents itself, they will leave you for. I don’t care if you’ve got kids, she’ll orphan them. You see guys, THE LADIES are looking out for #1, and if they can get a significant upgrade, they’re gonna drop you like a crack habit.
So here are 6 guys, that the ladies will without a doubt leave you for.
#6 - DAVE MATTHEWS. “Hey, I got a quirky look, a little diarrhea dance when I play guitar, a receding hair line, and voice with range. Oh, did I also mention that I’m from South Africa and stand up for social causes as well?” That’s what this dude is gonna tell your girl. I don’t know why, but even girls that don’t listen to Dave Matthews will get flustered at the thought of him. I gotta admit, I don’t really know the attraction here, but I chalk it up to that whole “He looks dangerous, but is probably a sweet guy, when you get to know him” front that he likes to play up. I’m gonna be honest, if I ever see him on the street, and he’s not surrounded by body guards, I’m gonna drop the people’s elbow on him. You might think that’s a bit over the top (no I won’t arm wrestle him), but the jerk charges $30 bucks fro t-shirts at his show. I believe that he is taking capitalism a bit too far and needs to be reigned in for his own good.
#5 - JOHN KRASINSKI -“Hey, have you met me? I’m the new Ross. I’m sensitive, funny, not offensively funny, but kind and light hearted funny. Romantic Comedies? Yeah, I make those!” I see right through you Halpert. You’re filling that gap that Hugh Grant, the male cast of friends, and to a lesser extent “sensitive” Keanu Reeves have left behind in Hollywood. My guess is that you’ll be able to pencil John in for a few co-staring roles opposite sappy love film mainstay Drew Barrymore. When he steals your lady and you confront him, he won’t wanna fight you because it would be “too barbaric” and she’ll love him even more. Yeah, when he plays the sensitive card, he’s a sweet heart to her, but when you took her to McDonald’s, and the drunk guy in the Grimmace costume tried to unhook her bra, you were a sissy because you wouldn’t defend her honor. That’s why “Jim” can not be trusted gentleman.
#4 - DON MATTINGLY - “Oh, my name? Yeah, it’s Donnie Baseball.” Hook, line and sinker. First of all, any male Yankee fan that’s between the ages of 26 and 36, would go home with him, but as much as the men love him, the ladies love him even more. Why? He’s Donnie Baseball. He’s got a nickname, a good coaching gig, sweet seats to Yankees games, midwest charm and of course he hit a home-run every day for a freakin’ week. You know anybody with a resume like that? Now, Donnie ain’t for everyone. Tall chicks don’t like him, chicks who don’t dig protruding chins don’t like him, and female fans of the Mets and Sox don’t like him. Other than that, Donnie is good to go. If “Hey, I’m Donnie Baseball” doesn’t work, he’ll go to an equally effective line, “I’ll regrow the ’stache, all you gotta do is ask.” Sorry dudes, hate to tell ya’, but your girl is gonna go all the way with Mr. Mattingly.
#3 - JARED LETO - “Oh, are you looking for a guy that’s kinda aloof, has a guitar and is tough, but not so tough that I wail on people? We’ll then let me introduce you to myself, I’m Jared Leto. Yes, the same Jared Leto that has milked more fame out of a one season show than any one else in history.” There are a few facts in life; school cafeterias will always smell like french fries, employees at Abercrombie will always look down at you, and any girl that was a teenager in the 90s, loves My So Called Life. Therefore, by default they love Leto. There only other 2 choices were Ricky, who is disqualified for obvious reasons, and the Dad on the show. And that folks is just plain creepy. So Leto continues to mooch of this cult series by continuing his gentle punk look. Honestly, if I had to lose my wife to another man, I’d prefer it to be Lou Ferrigno. Why? the man can bench press a Cadillac and he also played the Hulk. Nobody would laugh at you if the Hulk took your lady. But they just might if Jared Leto did.
#2 - VINCE VAUGHN - “Folks, I’m tall, a bit over-weight, and my forehead makes even E.T. laugh, but guess what? I don’t care. I’m Vince Vaughn, chicks love me and I know it.” Vaughn is arrogant, smarmy, crude, rude and is probably not afraid to engage in some one on one fisticuffs. He’s rough and bloated around the edges. He might be an alcoholic. He’ll play up the fact that he was the star of Wedding Crashers and probably deny the fact that he only had 1 line in Rudy, a movie starring Sean Astin. But it doesn’t matter. He’ll get your girl. He’ll do it in front of your face. As he walks out the door with her, he and his uber-friend Jon Favreau will laugh at you. You’ll wonder what your lady ever saw in him. Then it hits you, she’ll think “If he was good enough for Jen, he’s good enough for me.” So don’t hate your girl, don’t hate Vince, you get up the next day and write an angry letter to Ms. Anniston. Tell her you won’t buy any more of her DVDs or “Team Jenn” shirts. Maybe that will teach her to raise her standards in the future.
#1 - JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE - “Ladies love a man from the Mickey Mouse club.” Game, Set, Match the victory in a landslide goes to Timberlake. He can sing, dance, is funny, tough, yet sensitive and has lost them weird jerry curls that he had during his N’Sync years. Listen, I’m straight, but even I can appreciate the fact that he’s a five tool player. The absolute worst part is that damn smile. He’s got one of those Will Smith/Smurfette smiles that just makes everything OK. He’d come into a bar, take your lady, and then he’d flash that smile and you’d be like “Oh, go ahead, you two have fun and here’s that gift card to Chucky Cheese I was saving for our anniversary.” There’s no doubt that you don’t stand a chance of having your girlfriend giving you a second glance as she heads out the door with young Justin. It’s a damn shame.
That ladies and gentleman is your list. Sure you might have your own personal 6 including Captain Lou Albano (don’t worry, your rubberband fettish secret is safe with me) but there’s no denying that these 6 dudes have the ability of stealing your lady.
I’m curious to know what you think of the list and who was missing.
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