Cat’s Eye: The last five minutes of the final episode remains the same, however, just as the screen is about to go black we see an interior shot of Paulie lying in bed. There’s a small figure crouched over him, but we can’t quite make it out. As the camera zooms in, we see it’s the cat. Its mouth is stretched wide over Paulie’s mouth and nose. Paulie gasps two or three times trying to catch his breath, but eventually fails. The cat jumps off the bed and knocks over a picture of Paulie and Chris on the nightstand. Roll Credits.
Holy Moley: Same scenario as above, except its Ginny Sac’s 95-pound mole that suffocates Paulie rather than the cat.
Sith Soprano: Tony waits for everyone to arrive at the restaurant before he puts money in the jukebox. When Meadow arrives safely, he goes to select Journey and accidentally hits the song below it. It’s the Return of the Jedi Soundtrack and the Ewoks start to bang on the drums and sing. Tony smiles, shoves an onion ring in his mouth and looks off in the corner of the bar. There he sees three bright blue figures standing there smiling: Johnny Soprano, Jackie Aprile, and Big Pussy. They look at each other then wave back at Tony.
As a TV fiend growing up in the 80s, I tried to watch everything and anything I could. As a result, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about the sweater that Arnold burned a cigarette hole through, or the way Mr. Roeper would look at the camera every time he ripped on Helen.
Therefore, my post for this week is a challenge for TV DEUCERS. I challenge you to answer these questions without using the Internet. The person who answers all questions correctly will earn a chance to post a TVDeuce blog of their own.
10. How did Alex P. Keaton go about meeting girls on campus?
9. What are the first few lines of the song that Brian Tanner sang in the school play on ALF?
8. What was the catch phrase of the Australian guy on the Energizer battery commercials?
7. What the name of the Fairy Tale sitcom on ABC that only lasted a year and a half?
6. Who was the Russian TV newscaster on the show Turkey TV on Nickelodeon?
5. What was the Dean’s name at the cooking school Jack Tripper attended?
4. What was the name of the man Burger King was looking for in the 1980s?
3. What was the name of the designer shirt Denise tried to duplicate for Theo on The Cosby Show?
2. What was the name of the cat that promoted reading during ABC’s Saturday Morning Cartoons?
1. Finish this line from the theme song to Square Pegs: I wanna wear my glasses…
In my never-ending attempt to become the next Mark Burnette, here are more reality shows to consider:
The Bachelor: Rich and Below the Bell Curve: An independently wealthy Wal-Mart cart collector with below average intelligence chooses from a group of gold digging sorority girls. At the end of each show, he decides who stays by marking their receipts with a highlighter.
Pirate Master-bater: We can extend (pun intended) CBS’s new Pirate Master show into an after hours affair by seeing who’s able to finish the challenge with a hook hand.
Breakfast with Mrs. Butterworths: A hidden camera and a speaker are attached to Mrs. Butterworths’ syrup bottles throughout different Waffle House locations. As different ethnic families go to grab her, she makes races comments to each.
I Know a Guy: A new home makeover show where families hire people they know to put new additions onto their homes. The show will trail a carpenter friend who starts a job at each house and then shows what he does for the two years before finishing the project.
Do you have any ideas? Please send ‘em my way; together we can bring down television.
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