While I won’t say that last night’s vote off would rank up there with world travesties like the Hindenberg, World War One, or how guy’s capri pants aren’t seen as “cool” or “straight.”  I would like to think that America has better judgement than it showed on Idol last night.

First of all, somebody shoot Neil Diamond.  His performances are so cheesy, I swear I saw gouda oozing from my speakers.

But poor Brooke White gets the boot.  Not fair.  She actually had talent, charm, and oh yeah, is pretty hot.  America however has decided to leave these 4 clowns left in the race.

Syesha
You know what’s great about her?  She either wears a funky scarf or enough eye glitter to make a stripper jealous.  I really don’t know how she has lasted this far, but America seems to be heading back to its Womens Suffrage ways, so surely next week, Syesha will be shown the door.

David Cook
Can’t really bad mouth him at all.  Great singer.  I will say however, that his forehead is exceptionally large.  Almost on par with the little kid from “So I Married An Axe Murderer” That thing is like sputnik!

David Archuleta
I liked him in the beginning when I thought he seemed like a nice kid.  Now he just comes across as that kid that sat in the front of the class and would remind the teacher that he was supposed to give a quiz today.  Somebody needs to smack that smile and arrogance off his face.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Cook can edge him out in the finals.

Jason Castro
Now I’ve saved the biggest tool box for the end.  First of all somebody needs to cut them nappy dreadlocks and kick him in the shins.  All the girls love him because he’s sweet and makes goofy faces when the judges berrade him.  He brings woos rock to a whole new level.  I will give him props for “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” but after that I really want to see him develop some sort of serious, but not deadly tonsil infection.  Is that too much to ask for?

So my interest in who wins is now waining because my girl Brooke has been tossed aside like a baby on prime night.  But hopefully America gets it right and gives the Idol Title to David Cook.

The ladies weren’t nearly as good as the dudes.  However, give the chicks props because none of them picked a WHAM! song and in my book, that counts for a lot.  Paula may also have restarted her crack habit, as I’ve seen people at raves with longer attention spans than she had.  So here’s the breakdown.

Short Chick - She sang “I Wanna Dance With Somebody.”  I however, did not have the same sentiments.  You can seal the deal now, she’ll make the top 12 but get thrown to the reality show curb within the first 4 weeks.

Britney Impersonator - She’s very strange.  She’s really cute when she’s not singing, but once she grabs the mic it gets real ugly real quick.  You know what I love that contestants do?  Pick slow songs you’ve never heard of.  I do know it had the word “Forever” it in, but no, it wasn’t John Stamos singing the Beach Boys classic.  Although, what if Stamos got on Idol?  Unfortunately, life isn’t cool enough to bring this wish to fruition.

Rocker Chick - The skunk hair was under control this week.  She rocked out to “I Hate Myself For Loving You.”  Very good, but she looks way to uncomfortable up there.  Kind of like when you see Ben Savage in the unemployment line.  You wanna say something, but you know it won’t cheer him up.

Irish Chick With Enormous Tattoo - “Drive All Night.”  Wow, this dame has some pipes.  But I still can’t get over that ENORMOUS tattoo on her arm.  Can we get her some sleeves or something to help class up the show a bit?  Also, she looked cuter than normal, but I’m still not quite sold on if she is or not.  However, she’s gonna be around a long time.

Country Chick - I really don’t like her for the simple reason that she isn’t believable.  She preaches about being a tom boy or at least liking the movie Tommy Boy, but then she gets all dolled up.  She’s not staying true to herself.  She sang something, it was alright, but I think she comes across as fake.

Even Shorter Chick - Great another Phil Collins song!  It’s like I’m watching the Lion King Soundtrack Live!  I tell ya’ what though, I took a look at her now, and you know what I saw?   A girl that has a better chance of dating Chad Michael Murray than she does winning Idol!  (Yes, that makes no sense whatsoever)

Carly Simon Girl - Love this girl!  She really cute in an old fashioned way, but also very talented.  My wife thinks she’s too agreeable (the singer, not my wife) I say she’s playing her cards just right.  She’s done everything really well, so why go and tick off the judges?

Cute Girl With Big Hair - “Saving All My Love For You”  She was saving her love, but not much else, cause I was unimpressed.  I do think she’s really good and hopefully she sticks around.  I like a chick that wears shorts when no one else is.  It’s a good look.

So there ya’ have it.  I think the short chicks are in danger.  Also, what’s up with the “Mom Pants” they were all sporting.  I’ve been informed that they are “nautical” pants.  However, if I see anything like on my boat, I’m throwing those bloated looking fishes back.

What were your Idol thoughts?